VISUAL STUDIES PROGRAM
I am slowly encasing myself in despair, but I don’t see it. Others see changes in me that make them concerned, but I don’t see it. I actively cope with my inner turmoil with excitement and comfort, and I can feel it. But are these mechanisms allowing me to better myself? I don’t buy it. The adaptations I use become too heavy to use properly, and over time lose their effectiveness. the weight
My work explores coping mechanisms that are used to help people with mental illness. These mechanisms are meant to help stabilize people in times of distress, but if left unchecked, they can worsen a person’s distress. The coping mechanisms that I personally use and have experienced are eating food, sleeping, and playing video games. In moderation, these coping mechanisms can be beneficial, but overusing and abusing them could make more problems in stabilization.
In these works, I used a glitching process (altering the digital image file) to portray the vividness of experience while immersed in the use of these coping mechanisms. The saturated colors produce a cheerful and joyous experience, but the glitching process corrupts the images and in turn corrupts the individual. As the subject experiences initial gratification, they are unknowingly becoming encumbered by overuse of the coping mechanisms.
“Be healthy, be strong, be happy” is what my mother wished for me as a newborn. These hopes were recorded in the baby book she kept for me, along with all the memories of excitement and growth throughout my first year of life. I’ve come a long way since those logs. No longer do I need to rely upon her for my next meal or to soothe me when I am upset. Instead, as an adult, I have learned to perform these human needs for myself. I’m proud to declare that I am capable of supporting myself, although, with these responsibilities, I’m often reminded of what it was like to be taken care of.
Every now and then my independence is disrupted by anxiety. In these moments, I wish I could return to my childhood and, once again, rely upon my mother. Although, I can’t turn back time. Therefore, I can only accept the advice she has offered me throughout my life. Nurture features the lessons, hopes, and love of my mother, while recognizing that though I may be grown, I will always remain her child.